sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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