If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
