hell yes lets make some ravioli
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
