I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
