I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
