we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
