There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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