My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
