Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
you had me at cake vodka
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
