if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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