Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
