What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
