Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
