eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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