Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
