Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
