so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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