Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
