Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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