Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize