Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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