Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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