dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
If I die, sorry about rent.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
