Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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