That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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