I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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