Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
