Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
