I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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