I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
