Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
