R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
