if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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