If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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