You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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