i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Are we still banned from the library?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Randomize
