i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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