Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
if i can run in heels then i can drive
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
