are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
