the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
