I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Dick very happy bro
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
