Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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