Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
