So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
