Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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