btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
