Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
