You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
