Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I need a beard to bite.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
