I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
