Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
