I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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