ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
