3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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