Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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