When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
