I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
