Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
