At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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